Be Your Own Happy

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For quite some time now, I have been unhappy. And it gets old. It really does. I am 30 years old and am finally realizing that I shouldn't rely on others to make me happy. If I keep on doing so, I will always be in this cycle of high and lows. Because of this, I have been working on doing more things by myself. Things that I know will make me feel fulfilled and happy. Simple things that to some people might seem weird, or maybe even second nature.

I treated myself to brunch. I wanted a nice breakfast and did not want to be the one to cook it. So, I got ready and drove myself to IHop and enjoyed a small meal. Alone. I went around noon and there was still a small crowd of people eating. I didn't take a book or anything, just my phone. I tried not to really use it, and just enjoy my meal, and my time alone. It wasn't as bad as I thought that it would be.

I was invited to a bridal shower/send off on Saturday. And all week I was mentally preparing myself for this. I knew that I would be going by myself, and that I would only know the soon to be Mrs. Lili aka Lili Bear. But, I still went. I got dolled up and everything. I am glad that I went. The women that were there really care about her, and we enjoyed our time. We painted and sipped. I want to go back there to paint pottery next time. I saw a lot of cute ceramic projects that I'd enjoy painting and bringing home.

I've also driven to New York from PA alone, and as nerve wrecking as that was, it wasn't as bad as my anxiety makes it seem. Something that I remind myself is: I always feel guilty, or filled with regret whenever I succumb to anxiety and cancel plans. I rarely ever regret putting the anxiety on a back burner, and going through with plans. It really helps.

Here are a few pictures from last night:

I've felt a certain "pull" towards the color yellow lately. I don't really care for the color, but it is a color that people always mention how they like how it looks on me. 

Outfit details?

Blouse/Top*: is from LOFT and is no longer available in this exact print, but they have one that is almost identical to the one I am wearing!

Jeans/Leggins*: my current favorite! I love the soft material of the jeans, and how they accentuate my butt/curves.

Anything with a * next to it is a link! I made the purchase during one of their many sales, and if you provide your email address, they give you a code for 25% off. I will say that their tops can run a little on the big side, but the jeans/bottoms are true to size.

Shoes*: are by Franco Sarto (one of my favorite shoe brands) at DSW.

XO.